Only because either me or my brother had most of those same conversations with our folks when we grew up, and got pretty much the same answer. We both turned out. I’m here on the list because I still hadn’t learned some lessons about managing money, but at least by the time I got here I’d figured out it was my doing, not because my Mean Parents deprived me back in the day. My bro is doing quite well financially, despite some even harsher Mean Parent Moments in that regard. And yea, we know now that our parents did the right thing back then. Hard to admit it back then, of course. A young person’s pride being what it is. Glad she’s still in school, hope she sorts some things out, and here’s to sticking to your preferences for how that money is, or isn’t spent.
She has about 3 weeks to go. I guess she’s attending class, or that is the informationshe’s telling her father and I. She still lives with the boy/man whatever….She’s working, he is not. She has managed to pay March and April’s rent and put gas in her car (which he’s driving everywhere). I imagine she’s managed to pay other household bills and food. I’ve washed my hands of it.
She does want her college fund though – I’m sure to help her pay bills and such, but MY money is earmarked for her college or it can go back into my account for my purposes 🙂 She’s not too happy that she has been unable to convince her father or I to just fork it over. She is of the opinion its her money and since we don’t agree with her choice we are withholding it from her. She stopped talking to us for a few weeks….its been peaceful 🙂 She did text on Monday… so she’s fine, and I suppose learning to be a grown up!
All three of us are quick to do that. One of our favorite things to do is when we go to WDW. You will quickly see the best and worst of child behavior there.
Prior to going I will go to $1 tree and purchase several glow in the dark necklaces and similar items. These I take to WDW with us—they sell them for a ghastly price there, so the trip to $1 tree prior makes this a less expensive reward.
Once there during the day we often see the same children over and over because crowds tend to move in the same direction during the park hours. Then right at dark we approach the PARENTS of children we’ve noticed have been well behaved throughout the day. Trust me after you have stood in line with hundreds of kids you will notice the good ones fast. We tell the parents we have been impressed by the child’s good behavior and would like to give them a small reward. We NEVER approach the child. Then we give the parent the glow in the dark item for the child to have. The look on the parent’s and children’s faces is priceless. We often see the child later that night or even the next morning wearing their glow in the dark treasure with a big smile on their face.
This is particularly great when we are there during the Christmas holiday season, because many children are certain dh is Santa Claus (we dress him in a lot of red then). It’s a fun and simple way to compliment both the parents and the children.
On that same front, the holiday season is also a good time for dh to discipline unruly children without saying a word. He will shake his head at them and take out a small notepad and pencil. You’d be surprised how quick those brats settle down when they think Santa is putting them on the naughty list. LOL!
There are other ways of discipline besides spanking as you indicated, and parents who abdicate their responsibility to discipline, just because they are against spanking, give me great pause.
I gladly wear the title of “mean mommy”, she says that now, in the fact that I won’t write her a check for what she terms “HER educational fund” but this too will pass. She is a well behaved, well spoken and I never had a problem taking her out in public and wondering if she was going to turn rogue in the process. I think what she disliked most and what got her attention the quickest was when she would act out in public. I believed in where you did the crime, you did the time. She HATED the great unknown of how discipline was going to be metered if she misbehaved in a restaurant or in a store, or in church etc. She also wasn’t keen on the “village concept” and the fact that others who I left her in their care could discipline her AND tell me about her indiscretion for another punishment of my choosing. She once mentioned: “Is there anybody you don’t know?”
The schoolteacher in me, will make me comment to other parents when I’m out and about in reference to their children. I’m quick to tell a parent that their children are well behaved and how nice it is to see mannerable children, and I’m just as quick to tell them otherwise.
We seem to have a lot of “I’m just an older friend, parents” in this area.
True story: My kids call me the “Magnificient Mommy Monster” for numerous reasons. They were raised to the terms of please and thank you, do as you are told, and respect your elders. Misbehave in a public place and you would be asked “do you want to go to the car?” and of course they did not. We did not beat our children, but they were both spanked about 3 times in their lives. We handed out sweat labor (chores they detested and had to do until they did them right). My kids would have never even dreamed of running and screaming around a restaurant of any type, fast food or sit down. Both know the proper forks to use, no elbows on the table, chew with your mouth closed etc. And quite frankly at times they thought I was the meanest mom in the world because of the these rules.
It all was made worth it one day when we were in a fast food restaurant and the kids were both teenagers. I had gone to get our condiments, napkins etc as they sat at the table near some very unruly children. When I got back they had their heads together talking. When I asked what was going on one of them looked at me and said “Mom, we use to think you were so mean because you made us sit quietly in a restaurant, but now we understand WHY you did it. It was because you love us and respect the rights of others, unlike those kids parents.”
Ok, so we have 7 kiddos (and 2 cats and a small tortoise) and currently in a 1500sqft house. We desire to sell and buy something with more land. But with several children with varying special needs, including severe anxiety and having difficulty with adjustments/change. We are concerned about what selling the house while living here would do to them. I can’t just get up and go whenever someone wants to come look. I know that’s etiquette but with our family its just not possible.
We are thinking of selling our popup and buying a larger RV trailer (bunkhouse style). My thought was to live in it while selling the house (and have everything in storage). My husband says to just live in it while folks are looking at the house? He’s clueless as to the house selling process. We can’t do open houses every single weekend…And we can’t run off to go camping because someone randomly wants to take up an hour or so on some random night during the week. He’s still not understanding my point.
Any suggestions or ideas? I really do get concerned about living here while trying to sell this place. We have no way of “staging it” while still living here with all our stuff and 7 children! And the inability to just jump and leave when folks want to see the house is going to cause a problem.
Help me think this through….the need is selling the house somehow (next year?) while NOT living here…with a new(er) RV…Maybe I’m just going crazy and asking too much!
well duhhh, I knew that about 3 months ago. It stated in big letters our account would stay the same as far as minimums due and interest rate for now. But down in the fine print it basically said Citibank could change the interest rate at their whim. This of course encouraged us to pay even faster on the BB card because at 8.9% it’s way higher than anything else we have and it was our pet snowball bill anyway.
About 3 weeks ago I started paying on the bill twice a week as money came in from little places here and there. Most of the payments are of decent size, but today’s was only going to be $10. I’m waaaaaay ahead of the minimum monthly due and imagaine my surprise when I went to pay online and they told me “NO” you’ve already paid 5 times this billing period and you can’t do any more until after your statement cuts off on Dec. 3!” Yeah right, like I’m going to stand for that when they are threatening to jump my rate and interest is compounded daily and figured on an average daily balance. Even if I can only pay $10 today, there are still three other payments (payday loans online) I want to make between now and the third that come to much more.
So I called them, it takes longer to do, but I paid via phone for free. They can run, but they can’t hide. This gazelle is chasing the cheetah!
I figure they do that 5 transaction cut off to slow people down on making the payments who are trying to pay them off like I am. Gotcha! It won’t work, I WILL be free of BB by Christmas if it kills me!
Spend every dollar on paper, on purpose. But it isn’t part of the Baby Step 2 snowball. It would be in Baby Step 6,
1 – BEF
2 – Debt Snowball
3 – FFEF of 3-6 months of expenses
4 – 15% to retirement
5 – Saving for college(if applicable)
6 – Pay off mortgage early
7 – Become very wealthy and give a bunch away
and those that are not part of the snowball (utilities, life insurance, etc.), are included in the zero based budget. Even the mortgage is included in the zero-based budget. The mortgage is not included in the snowball calculator, to my understanding.
So do I include the mortgage as part of the Snowball calculator? Or does that go onto the zero-based budget instead?